I have this weird relationship with numbers. I’ve always notice them, and am frequently disturbed by certain patterns in my day to day life. Often, I see the numbers 11:11.
Recently I have been noticing a lot of the number four. In my Instagram, on my clocks, the amount of times things happen, etc. So I decided to look it up. I love to look everything up.
According to random Internet research, seeing the sequence 444 (what I saw this morning) is a reassurance from my guardian angels that everything is as it should be in life. I should have nothing to fear, and my endeavours will be successful. This is a positive suggestion, so I’ll take it!
Even if following this idea seems hokey, I feel that everything is connected somehow, and I am always on the lookout for messages. I believe everything has a reason, and a purpose. A part of me believes in everything.
Well, not everything, but you know what I mean.
Did I tell you I started reading a textbook about major religions of the world? Maybe I will figure it out after that, but I doubt it. I long ago invented my own belief system, so it’s probably too eclectic to fit anything definable. I’ll let you know if I learn anything conclusive.
Although there aren’t a lot of firm beliefs that I hold when it comes to spiritual/religious thought, there are a few:
1. Be kind, as much as you are able. Apologize immediately if you were not. Having a bad day is never an excuse to be aggressive.
2. Never purposely injure a living thing, either physically or emotionally. All living things are sacred. Keep lies to a minimum. Do not be manipulative.
3. Cultivate self awareness. This will help you to practice kindness. Have morals.
4. It doesn’t matter what god you believe in, or if you go to church.
i. If there is a god (or gods), he probably has no name (he might not even be male) and you won’t know him until you die (maybe not even then), and he doesn’t have a name (words and names are man-made), so it doesn’t actually matter if you call him Jesus or Allah, or whatever. He/she/it is probably laughing in your face at your presumptuousness and crying about all the wars that are caused from this pettiness.
The fact is that humans often think that they can know what it is to be something or someone outside of themselves, but this is wishful thinking. We cannot really know anything which is outside of our own being. We can relate to our friends and family, we can love them, but to know is to be. You would have to be God to know God. And as none of us is a god, or God him/her/itself, then this pretending to know is exactly this. Pretending. So if you believe in “God” it doesn’t matter what name he goes by.
ii. Churches aren’t bad, but they aren’t special either. If you believe in something, it comes from the heart, not some building or shrine or anything man-made. Let’s face it, materialism is everywhere. Just ask yourself this: if all the churches in the world burned down, would God be dead? Sorry, I don’t buy into the “if you don’t go to church you’re a bad person” crap.
5. Life is too complex to come from nowhere. Therefore, there is likely a Higher Being, or energy force who designed us. Everything is causal.
Well, beliefs are pretty important, and extremely subjective. If you’re going to follow me and eventually read some of my writings, then you can think of it as background information. As you’ll notice, my writing is pretty randomized, and often contradictory (from story to story). So I just want you to know where I’m coming from. I think my writing will reflect that.
I’ve decided to allow myself to share a bit of writing here on WordPress, however hesitantly. It seems only fair, since writing is on my hit list this year, and since the purpose of this blog is to practice writing in general. Sharing. I am learning to share.
Oddly, I like to write a lot about that which I don’t understand, such as violence and meanness in general. I mean, I sort of understand it, from the receiving end, but it’s hard to imagine actually being mean myself, you know? I am not a mean person, and will never be. But I am fascinated by it, and anything that is not what I am about. In order to understand people, I try to become them. So forgive me if my fiction is frequently less than pretty. It can be pretty grim.
But then so can life. I want to understand life.And I think, in a way, that writing is the perfect medium to explore that with.
But I also love the beautiful. There is so much beauty in the world, as long as you don’t read the newspaper. To be avoided at all costs. Or mostly.